At Movement Play on Saturday we had “The Show Off Show”. I’m not sure if I wanted to participate or if it preferred to be a passive observer but Rosie asked me to do it and I was easily swayed. I was ambivalent about performing but a little nudge and I was on board.
Apprehensively, I signed myself up on the little clip board. My apprehension stemming from the insane level of talent that had participated the year before. This talent show was not not your average talent show; nearly all the participants were professional performers sharing their skill. On top of that, I’m at a “micro-festival”, as Rosie likes to call it, full of hoopers. I had the feeling that me hooping for hoopers at a talent show, at a hoop festival was just a little arrogant and performing for Anah, Christabel, Rosie, Jasmine, Dawn, Jamie and many of the other hoopers that I hold in high regards, always ups the anxiety level. Despite that, Anah and Rosie performing helped me give myself the permission to put all the internal dialogue aside and I went for it.
Then I had to decide what to perform with?!? One full-size hoop? Double minis? Double mini fire hoops? The obvious choice seemed a full size single and demoing all the isopop stuff. I know others love to see that but I feel it would be limiting to continue performing that realm of movements all the time. I’ve been very into my double mini’s lately, especially the moves I call “unified axial isolations”. I want to share that stuff. I’m also really into these linear isolations that I can’t do very well but conceptually excite me. Then again…. I could firehoop. Crowds love fire. It’s a crowd pleaser every-time. It’s not my passion though. In the end, I decided to start with double minis for the first two minutes, then move on to a single hoop.
I chose one of my favorite tracks, Cockney Violin by Caspa. It’s an older track with an asian violin and heavy dub baseline, perfection if I’ve ever heard it. It’s melodic with the whomp that makes me move with passion.
As it came time to perform, I warmed up outside the performance area. I’ve recently found that I perform best when I keep my mind completely off the fact that I’m going to be performing. I ignore all aspects other than knowing when I go on. This time, the order got switched up and Rosie called me up one act ahead of time. It actually worked well for me because I had no time for nerves. I yanked my shirt off and ran on stage, having not even planned the exact placement of my hoops for the transition from doubles to single.
As I stepped on stage, my hooping went into autopilot. I’ve repeated every single motion 1000′s of times now. It feels funny that on stage I felt no flow and I almost didn’t feel the hoop. I was aware of the audience and that I was guiding the motion of the hoop. The intricacies of the moves disappeared completely. I’ve heard people talk about how they channel a higher energy while performing. This is the closest I’ve come to that feeling though autopilot is a more exact description of my experience.
When I stepped off stage I didn’t really know how the hooping went. I was aware that I had evoked a strong audience reaction and that I pulled everything off but it all felt mildly disconnected. I immediately went to Lauren. Lauren always holds the outside perspective for me. Without her, I couldn’t do anything. So when she said I nailed the performance I knew it went well. Lauren said the performance was the best she’d ever seen me do. Christabel and others said the same.
It was surreal and exciting experience. Each new performance gives me new insight to what it means and what it takes to perform. I always feel an indebtedness to my audience for them allowing me to perfrom and I strive to live up to that. I’m stoked that this time I did.